July 16th, 2005 (12:51 am)
Has all this time gone buy? Lots of things happened!!! okay maybe not. Those dorks are letting me marry Riksama again! Yay!!! Were not sure when were getting married but its in a few months and only some people are allowed to go okay? We don't want all the villaegers there to ruin things. i couldn't handle another ruined wedding.
Shinra is kinda getting rebuilt now. Dunno if im happy or sad. I got a job and paycheks so I guess its cool eh? Rufus put Kaylee and Albert as Vicepresidents kinda, like one is in control of midgar and the other of Junon so like I guess theyre vice prez and stuff. Whatever. But theyre getting things done. They got this weird family rivalry going on so like they're trying to out do each other... kinda funny. Kaylee's always
funny scary when she's mad.
Then we had a fundraising concert!!!!!! We raised funds to get blitzball and quidditch started up in Sakura village. maybe its gonna be Sakura town soon? Or even Sakura City! We're getting big! Its so exciting.
Oh yeah the concert. Lost Kauze performed (woohoo!) and we rocked of course then KLP and a few others. I don't know who is more popular between us and those girls but we're all the biggest buzz in the town. Man I don't have mobs of fangirls (like Mystere) but I do have fangirls. Its cool having people who want your autograph and stuff. I don't think Riksama is jealous because she's got lots of fans! This is all really cool. Is this the life of a rock star? Eh I geuss its not the whole sex drugs and rock and all bit, but its fun. I already lived those days, eh?
Speakin of which Riksama is kinda bummed out about me not telling her things. alright let me be serious for a moment, okay?
I've done many things in the past that I regret and care not remember. Some of these things may or may not be Turk-work related. Either way, there are so many aspects of my life that make me who I am today and sometimes (all the time) I really do not wish to elaborate on them or even discuss it. I try to be open, honest, and willing. But really, I am a secretive person. Its in my nature, it is who I am, and that is just one aspect I will never change. Call it my instincts from Turk training, call it being a Scorpio, or from being mistreated as a child. It does not matter what label you give it. If I do not share things, or if I lie about things, from my past, it is not personal. How am I supposed to react when others get hurt from this? That puts me in a situation I do not like to be. I am trying to open up, but this is Reno. This is who I am. I am willing to bring down my barriers to let people close to me, but no one will ever, ever get past some of these final walls I have set up. If you prod enough, I'd probably tell you things... but I don't like that. Having to tell someone secrets I don't want to give out pisses me off. More than pisses me off, it makes me lose respect and trust in them. Really, forget about my past. </seriousness>
Riksama said she gots this feeling that something is gonna happen but i don't know if anything will and she doesnt either. I hope its not bad or anythign! Her mom wont tell either and I guess i can't blame her too much. will thing sbe alright? I hope so!!